Anima:The Illness Inducing Aeon
by KatxValentine
Summary: They had to do it. No one wanted to, but it had to be done. Anima. [oneshot]


Don't own. Anima _nasty._ He is, indeed, nasty enough to cause damage simply by _looking at._

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They had no choice. Jecht would kill them in mere moments. Desperation hung thick and heavy in the air. There was only _one_ choice left.

But none of them wanted to do it.

Yuna considered it. No one wanted to do it. Not even the little girl holding the controller wanted to click it. They knew it would come, because the strange ability of auto summon suddenly clicked on the screen.

Bile rose in everyone's throat. The fear came. Anima.

Yuna began to commence the sumon, while her limbs twitched violently in protest. Maybe if she didn't move or missed a hand gesture she'd summon a my little pony.

Wakka began to shake and soon soiled his newly washed pants (being the last Anima summon yielded the same results). Tidus began to cry, because the tears had been held back far too long. Five whole minutes. Auron seemed irritated, because his permanently closed eye started to violently flutter, the eyelids twitching like a dead animal. Rikku's teeth began to grind, until it started to level them down. Kimahri shed a little. Lulu made a little grunt noise, but everyone chalked it up to her normal conversation. Lulu's mog doll hid. In her cleavage. As per also usual.

Yuna kept trying to fight the ability to summon, praying a hand would slip and her staff would accidentally make its' way into her jugular, thus ending her miserable life. It was coming.

Even Jecht seemed to cry a little. But that could only be because he was being forced to fight his only son, a.k.a. crybaby sad boy.

No one could stop it now.

The earth split and parted. Meat hooks found their ways out. Each member of the party prayed one would impale them. No such thing happened. It was everyone's worst nightmare.

ANIMA.

It was done. The summon was here. Only one problem, they had begun to argue over who would control it.

"Eww! I am so totally not touching it!" Rikku squealed, "or the command menu!"

What command menu did she speak of, was the look everyone gave each other.

"Kimahri no touch. Kimahri…uhh….Kimahri cannot, Kimahri HORNLESS!" was the rapid excuse, a prayer that his lacking in the Ronso's apparent male area would get him out of it. But I ask you, is being hornless the same as having no balls in male culture? It worked well for Kimahri.

"I only play blitz ball, ya, only here for comic relief! I can't use an Aeon, ya!" Wakka stepped away nervously, hands in the air.

They all looked to Tidus for the question. But he just collapsed to his knees and began crying. _Hard._

Lulu grunted. To them, after years of translation, it was a 'no'.

They all turned to Auron, it was the very last resort.

"I'm old. And too sober for this." Auron grunted, quite masculine, and looked away with his good eye. The other was still twitching violently, and seemed like it would soon roll up like a shade on a window.

They only had one choice. They turned to Jecht, who made a loud roar and shook his head.

"Shouldn't we be fighting him?" Auron asked, trying to sidestep away from Anima, being his inconvenient fight position. Anima's meat hooks twitched. Tidus dropped to the floor and began to cry again, pulling himself into fetal position and sucking his thumb. Rikku squealed, and abruptly leapt away.

"Alright," Yuna groaned, "I'll do it."

Yuna took a brave step forward. Anima seemed to instantly sniff out her present, and as such the command menu instantly popped up on the screen. Yuna felt violated. Then she turned away to swallow down the vomit again.

The stench of fish carcass and Seymour mommy wafted through the air. One thousand of Jecht's hit point went down.

"P-P-P-Pain," Yuna coughed, rose her sleeve to her nose, and puked a little on the floor behind her, "th-th-then attack."

Pain was executed. Everyone threw up in their mouths a little, or a lot. Except Tidus, he puked _and_ cried in _unison_.

The wonders of 'Did that thing just mutilate itself to lower Jecht's hit points?' went through everyone's minds. It was quite the spectacle. Anima twitched within its chains.

Then a feel of overwhelming dread came over everyone. Suddenly, the command menu began to spaz. Yuna dare not speak it. Sure, it could do away with Jecht in one hit, but why subjugate everyone to such torture? Yuna contemplated suicide. It had to be done.

"O-O-O-O-Obliv…Obliv…Oblivion…" she gasped finally, and turned to clench her eyes shut and try not to puke any more, or add to the pile of Yuna stomach content on the floor.

Sure enough, the overdrive activated. But it was no normal overdrive, oh no, that would be too simple. It had revealed none other than Anima's crotch, a rampaging hell demon chained to it as if to symbolize keeping it in its' pants.

They even would have been more relieved had it possessed a _normal_ crotch. Any one but the hell demon.

It soon broke through the bonds. The death came as swiftly as the vomit. Anima crotch began to pummel away at Jecht, viciously bruising the final Aeon and ripping out new worlds of damage. It was done. The entire party was on the floor, breathing and looking as if they had all just had three nights of hot, strenuous sex. Except Tidus, he seemed like he had spent night after night drowning his sorrows in bottle after bottle of Jack Daniels' and whose eyes were bloodshot as a crack junkies'. Kimahri could not have had these nights of strenuous sex, however, for Kimahri was lacking in the horn area.

No one was spared. Everyone felt like a rape victim. Yuna felt worst of all, because her hit point were suddenly at zero and for what reason, no one knew. There had been no attacks, but curiously, one of Seymours' mommy Aeon's meat hooks went through her chest. The command menu suddenly bore the option for Yuna of 'suicide'.

"D-D-D-D-D-Di-Dismiss." she choked, coughing up her insides.

It was gone. It was done.

_Epilogue_

We soon cut to the merry reunion of the party, with the exception of Tidus. However, it seems they all live in their own tiny, white rooms and they have found themselves new accessories. We call these accessories _straightjackets._

Thus was the power of the dark Aeon. Gut wrenching insanity.

Welcome to another day at Besaid Mental Asylum.

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We got _bored._


End file.
